Sunday, April 10, 2016

The Many Facets of Grief

Grief is such a wide topic, and covers so many areas of related to loss, to define it as one particular emotion would do an injustice to those who have had the experience. Grief has many different facets. It is like the ocean, sometimes it’s calm, other days it hits you full force.  It is a normal and natural emotion to loss or change. The energy of grief is not a disorder; it is deep sadness, caused by the end or change of something familiar. This creates a scenario, in which you must now adapt your life differently, in an unwanted new reality.

When someone you love dies, your life is never the same. Coming to terms with that is challenging enough, because we can no longer reach out and contact that person. This is the most common way people perceive someone who is grieving. But what about someone who has lost a beloved pet, moved away from their home to start anew in an unfamiliar area, or suffering from a painful divorce. These too are all examples of grief, and there is no ‘One size fits all’, description of what grief should look like.

When you have a deep emotional attachment to someone, or a circumstance that is important in your life, and asked to let go and move on, it can often feel like you are abandoning everything you loved and forgetting about it. Some attachments are so deeply entwined in the fiber of who you are, that letting go seems impossible. We live in a culture that has created a timetable for grief, depending on the situation.  Then, after a designated time, that person is supposed to move on with their life, given a choice of only two emotions, sadness or happiness. I prefer using a method of balance, by integrating both into your life without feeling guilt about expressing either emotion. You can’t hide from grief, it will always find you. You have to experience it, and I believe we grieve to the depth of our love. Talking will help move emotions  through your body, enabling you to process them easier.
The human spirit has the capacity to overcome almost everything. To begin, let go of the timetable, perhaps look to professionals for guidance, but most of all, be gentle with yourself.

1 comment:

  1. I have recently experienced grief that was almost debilitating. Though that does diminish after a few days, I am always consumed by it at night, once my thoughts are no longer focused on the day. I would be racked with emotion that would eventually lead to fitful sleep. To learn to deal with it better would certainly make resting easier and I am sure that would make the days better as well. I have a deep love of my family and wife, as well as our canine children. I am always worrying about losing them - I think because of the grief that would follow.