Today is May 1st and everywhere I look, babies are being born. I have 13 quail eggs in a planter in my backyard, and I can't wait for them to hatch.
The flowers are blooming, new life is being born, a time of renewal, and love is in the air.
I recently had the opportunity to sit down with a professional Matchmaker, and our conversation was quite interesting. She told me that so many of her clients are looking for love in all the wrong places ( anyone remember that song?) In case you don't here is a link to the song.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAyDmJvjxbg . These television shows that portray the perfect woman as tall, thin, under 30 and usually blonde, are what the men over 40 are looking for as their ideal mate. Not that there is anything wrong with being tall, blonde, thin and under 30, but for men over 40, they are thinking with the wrong part of their body. They keep coming back to her, disappointed that there was no 'love connection'. Of course there isn't, they are in different stages in their life. If you are only looking for arm candy or a sugar daddy, then they will fit together like a hand in a glove. But if you are looking for a partner, someone that you can share you life with, then you are looking in the wrong direction.
Now women, well they are looking for 'Mr. Tall, dark, and handsome'. I had to laugh when she told me that the men her female clients ( again over 40) were looking for, had to be around 6 ft tall, great body, full head of hair, made over $200,000 and had little to no baggage. Talk about a tall order! I have yet to meet any man over 40 who doesn't have any baggage. It's called life!
I decided to sit down and write this blog about finding real love. Of course they need to be physically attractive to you initially, but the real attraction comes from within. I know you have heard that before, but if you are honest with yourself, you know that it's a true statement. So before you throw the baby out with the bathwater, I would ask you to think about this question. What are your three non-negotiables?
That's right, the three things that will make or break a relationship no matter how tall, handsome or beautiful someone is.
One of mine is smoking. I can't be around anyone who smokes. The smell irritates my eyes, my lungs, and to be honest, they smell like tobacco. I personally don't find that appealing. So for me, that is a non- negotiable.
Too many singles out there have set the bar so high, it's impossible for them to meet anyone that has the potential to be perfect for them. When you are only looking for 10's, you are bypassing the 7's and 8's that could be your soul mate. What I am finding in my practice, is that FEAR is the reason they sabotage themselves. Fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, and fear of opening their heart. They want love so badly, but yet the fear is holding them back.
Now that love is in the air, I am asking you to step outside your box, feel the fear and do it anyway. Make a list of your three, and only three non-negotiables, otherwise you will have a list a mile long. What does love look like to you now? Don't go back and lament over the past. That is over, and the future is not promised to you. You are a new person every single day. In fact, your cells are dying and new ones are born every second in your body, so you really are a new person. What does love look like for you right now? Really think about that question, and then don't be afraid to go out and find it.
If you need help in negotiating the waters, I am here for you. Email me or give me a call. I always give 15 min free consultations or will answer you emails as soon as possible.
May is a time for renewal. So I hope you will renew your life, live in joy, happiness, health, and of course IN LOVE.
Until next time....