Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Enough Already!

Why is it that we feel compelled in our society to go at warp speed, and exhaust ourselves to prove our worth?
I have noticed this for a while now, people keeping themselves busy, and I am not talking about
being productive, but rather giving the illusion of doing something, never completing anything fully,
 all the while complaining about how busy they are. Why is it that they can't stop long enough to
take a good hard look at their lives? Is it because they are afraid of what they will see in the reflection?

I know of a number of people who keep themselves so pre-occupied with 'stuff' almost to the point of not being able to function over the weekend. Are they are running away from
who they are, unable to face the truth, whatever that might be. What are we so afraid of?

We look outside ourselves for validation, and have been taught that way. We are never good enough,
smart enough, attractive enough, have enough money, ENOUGH ALREADY! The truth is, we are
enough, and we don't need anyone other than ourselves to realize that. It is time to remember who we are and our contribution to life.
Isn't it exhausting trying to be all things to everyone else, leaving nothing left for you?

I know because I was one of those people. Always busy, never taking the time to live in the moment,
there were too many things to do, places to go, obligations to meet. I thought of myself as a martyr,
not consciously of course, but martyr just the same. It wasn't until I began getting sick, and I mean
really sick, where I had nothing but time on my hands that I began to listen to my emotions and thoughts. I could do nothing else but lay in bed and 'FEEL' what was happening to me, and it was a profound moment for me. The illness was a gift, not a burden.. I had been attempting to prove my worth by making myself available to everyone except the most important
person and that was me. I was running away from who I was, because at the time I didn't believe I
was good enough and I had something to prove. But every time I ran in a different direction, I was
still there looking back at myself asking the same question over and over:" Why do I keep doing
this? What was I so afraid of?" Rejection, condemnation, criticism?

The realization that I was enough, was a big AH-HA moment for me. When I learned to say "No",
without an explanation of why, just no, and not worrying about what others would think of me, it
was like a huge bolder was lifted off my shoulders. Whatever the situation,  the task
 would be completed by someone else. It took a while, but I was beginning to see myself in a
different light. I was learning to validate who I was, and my self worth as a person, not an employee,
a wife, a mother, a friend, volunteer, a sister or daughter. Just me, and that was enough.

I now take time to read, play, working outside in the yard, run with
my dog, or ride my bike, and it's just for me. My life is joyous, my heart is happy, and most of all
I am a happier person. No more guilt, which is a wasted emotion once you have learned the lesson.

You are enough, never forget that. Embrace who you are, because you are a gift to this world,
and I am glad you are here.

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